So, yes, Once In a Lifetime by Kaufman and Hart is the show that we're in rehearsals for right now...and I'm also realizing that this experience of being at Juilliard and having the privilege of learning so much, truly only happens "once in a lifetime"...hokey, I know!
Tonight we finished rehearsal early and I decided I needed to catch up on my blog. It's always important to document experiences as they are happening, I believe. It always offers a clearer perspective. This week has been a whirlwind of activity...in true Juilliard fashion. This showing that we're currently in rehearsals for start on the 28th. I also have a scene for my Scene Study Class from "Our Lady of 121st Street" that goes up again on Wednesday. As well as a reading of a play that I'm directing that goes up in 2 weeks! Shocking...Thrilling...and Tiring, as hell! But always inspiring.
This past weekend, the Drama Division gave us tickets to check out a new show by Juilliard Playwright Nathan Jackson. "Broke-Ology" running Off-Broadway at Lincoln Center's Mitzi Newhouse theatre. The show was fantastic and also featured two Juilliard Drama alums- Wendell Pierce and Francois Baptiste. The show was fantastic! Such a clear depiction of what happens in modern American families faced with the challenge of having to decide what to do with a sick and aging parent. Its such a difficult reality to face in these hard economic times, and I felt Nathan's play was so honest and deftly executed with wit and charm. Also, Wendell Pierce and Francois Baptiste made some pretty damn awesome character choices that left me feeling like this was a family with some deep roots. The whole production would make Juilliard pretty proud. I was quite proud myself ...and honored...:)
I've been really excited about our 1st year students that have just started in the Drama Division this year. Not only are they a really talented ensemble, but they're also such distinct individuals as well. I was lucky enough to spend some time with a few of them and one of the girls and I are both from the Caribbean. Last year when I was in Trinidad I had aspirations of starting an outreach group from Juilliard to go to the Trinidad to teach children in under-served areas. During a conversation with this friend of mine, she mentioned that she had ambitions of doing the same thing, but in Jamaica. When I think of it, Jamaica is a country that REALLY needs it. I've spoken to a few friends from Jamaica and they've told me a lot about how men who are in the arts tend to be viewed. From what I understand, Jamaica has had a history of violence towards gay men in particular. But also many other groups known to live "an alternative lifestyle" in many other ways as ell. It would be huge to walk into an environment like that, with the male talent here at the school to give back. What could it mean for some quiet young boy to hear an aria sung by a man for the first time? Or for a young girl to watch her first ballet performance? For these children to change the face of their nation through the arts is a possibility...and I'd like to find a way to make that happen. I think over the next couple months I'm gonna start the process to see if I can make that dream a reality.
I'm learning while here, especially at this time of my life, that life is what you make it. We are all given opportunities in our lives and we are left with the choice to either seize them or to walk away. I'm choosing to seize them! To grab them and hold them close to my heart. I'm so happy to be in this city, in this nation, at this time in history. I feel like I couldn't be more blessed! And more than anything...I feel inspired to give back what I'm learning here in every way, everyday of my life!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Hmmmm,
So, tomorrow's Monday and another week is about to begin. Its been a fantastic week here in terms of revelations I've been making through the work we've been doing.
We have this interesting Scene Study class where basically over the summer we were assigned to read 4 different plays so that we could perform scenes from them in class. Right now we're working on "All My Sons". Originally, I was not a bit fan of the play, but through a lot of close re-reading of the play, I've discovered what a remarkable work it is. The scene that I'm working on is close to the end of the play and is a highly emotional moment. Its great to know that now I'm in a place as an artist where I'm learning about what aids me in helping to fill a story. The rehearsal I had today with my scene partners was fantastic. I was finally able to make a breakthrough in the emotional experience of this character...and it was such a gift. What helped so much was finding what I needed to do technically/physically in order to access that deeper place emotionally. And when I was finally able to get there, that's when I was able to give my partners what they needed in order to fill out the story. I'm learning how much the craft pf acting is about generosity. A willingness to be open enough, so that one can give while on stage in service of the story. It 's a really serious and necessary part of what we do.
I went to a wedding of a very close friend of mine last week, and ran into someone I hadn't seen in over 2 years. He knew that I'd started Juilliard a year ago, but we just hadn't seen each other in all that time. As soon as he saw me, he instantly said: "Wow, looked at how aligned your spine is!" He was trained at a conservatory as well, so it's like we speak the same language. Its funny, but since we focus so much on Alexander Technique here at the school, one can really see a difference in your posture if they really know how the technique works and know your body as well. I've found that while here, Alexander has aided me so much not just in how I create characters, but also in simple tasks like staying alert in class and accessing a deeper emotional life while on stage. It's an integral part of the training here that I deeply appreciate.
Anyway, that's about it for now! I have tons of reading that I should've gotten done hours ago! :)
So, tomorrow's Monday and another week is about to begin. Its been a fantastic week here in terms of revelations I've been making through the work we've been doing.
We have this interesting Scene Study class where basically over the summer we were assigned to read 4 different plays so that we could perform scenes from them in class. Right now we're working on "All My Sons". Originally, I was not a bit fan of the play, but through a lot of close re-reading of the play, I've discovered what a remarkable work it is. The scene that I'm working on is close to the end of the play and is a highly emotional moment. Its great to know that now I'm in a place as an artist where I'm learning about what aids me in helping to fill a story. The rehearsal I had today with my scene partners was fantastic. I was finally able to make a breakthrough in the emotional experience of this character...and it was such a gift. What helped so much was finding what I needed to do technically/physically in order to access that deeper place emotionally. And when I was finally able to get there, that's when I was able to give my partners what they needed in order to fill out the story. I'm learning how much the craft pf acting is about generosity. A willingness to be open enough, so that one can give while on stage in service of the story. It 's a really serious and necessary part of what we do.
I went to a wedding of a very close friend of mine last week, and ran into someone I hadn't seen in over 2 years. He knew that I'd started Juilliard a year ago, but we just hadn't seen each other in all that time. As soon as he saw me, he instantly said: "Wow, looked at how aligned your spine is!" He was trained at a conservatory as well, so it's like we speak the same language. Its funny, but since we focus so much on Alexander Technique here at the school, one can really see a difference in your posture if they really know how the technique works and know your body as well. I've found that while here, Alexander has aided me so much not just in how I create characters, but also in simple tasks like staying alert in class and accessing a deeper emotional life while on stage. It's an integral part of the training here that I deeply appreciate.
Anyway, that's about it for now! I have tons of reading that I should've gotten done hours ago! :)
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
...And it begins!
Okay...
After three blissful weeks in Spain, I returned to NYC realizing that the game was officially over! All my partying in Barcelona, every night till 7 in the morning, well, that wasn't gonna happen here, especially with school starting and all!
Everyone at school (today was our official first day-registration, meetings, all business stuff) kept asking me what my trip was like. I've begun to realize that there are truly no words to describe my experience there. Quite often I've found myself using the phrase: "Divinely Orchestrated" and I definitely believe that to be true. I felt as if every detail of my trip from the flight purchase to my super-safe landing back in NYC, GOD designed ...perfectly! I met some of the most amazing people while I was there. Especially in Madrid. And found that I was able to see a whole different side of humanity. I found a much more genoerous and open side to the human experience. People who were willing to give and share and really get to know you. I found Spain to be a country of people who really "listen". Coming from NYC, with its hustle nd bustle, I find that nobody here takes the time to really listen. Out of a desperate need for "efficiency", New Yorkers anticipate every word that falls from your lips never allowing you to take the time to fully articulate yourself. Its really frustrating and makes for tense and unfulfilling conversation. But in Madrid, I was floored by people's capacity to listen...to just be there and hear you. ALL of you! It was a beautiful thing!
In addition to the beauty of people's hearts, I found that the country itself was a sight to behold! On my way to Barcelona from Madrid, I took the train and was able to glide through the Spanish countryside. My goodness! So many rolling hills, pastures, fields, and wide open spaces. Of course in the states we have beautiful spaces, but when you're in Europe its a whole diffrent story! These are the kinda hills that when you were a kid and you watched the Sound Of Music, you thought to yourself, "I wanna be on that hill with Julie Andrews!...Just spinnin' around singin' for no reason!" When I finally arrived in Barcelona, I stayed at a hostel right on Anton Tapies, right in the middle of it all. I remember going to Las Ramblas and checkiong out La Pedrera. I also checked out La Sagrada Familia, and Parc Guell. All beautiful! I tell you Antoni Gaudi was truly an architectural genius! He has this uncany ability to make the most Gothic of looks seem completely contemorary...as if they are actually from the future! Stunning, really! The best part of Barcelona was its nightlife. Living in NYC, I've done my fair share of clubbing and figured that I, by now, have developed enough stamina that I could party with the best of them. I was completely unaware that it was possible to come home, take a siesta, have a late dinner , then go out for dancing at midnight and stay out till 7 am! I soon realized that this was the norm ion Barcelona, I caught on so quickly that I began to follow suit. For 5 days staright I partied like it was 1999...er, scratch that...2009! (Partying so good-it had obviously been aged 10 years!).
Some of the men in Barcelona were definitely a sight to behold! Whoooo- tan and buff! I've never been so happy to be a single woman in my life! So many guys...so little time! But I was good, I only seriously flirted with like, a dozen or so...just for posterity's sake, of course!
Back in Madrid, on the Flamenco front, I was luckily able to take a week's worth of classes at Amor De Dios. It worked out well and I had a fabulous teacher. All the classes were taught only in Spanish. But it made total sense and funny enough, taking a dance class all in spanish will do absolute wonders for one's vocabulary skills! I was able to observe classes in footwork, el truco,(the fan), and la mantanilla (the shawl). One of the simplest , most vital elements of the dance form is the ability to identify very contrasting rhythms and to keep up with the rhythm with clapping (las palmas). Surprisingly difficult...but so much fun to learn. I really think this is a danceform that I want to continue studying and I know I'll find more ways to incorporate it in my art.
Now that I'm back, it's all about classes! I registered fo classes today and everything really starts next week...YIKES! But I feel like, with all the fantastic memories of this trip, I should be able to sustain myself at least until Christmas!
SPAIN...I'll be back soon...real soon!
Now that I'm back, it's all about classes! I registered fo classes today and everything really starts next week...YIKES! But I feel like, with all the fantastic memories of this trip, I should be able to sustain myself at least until Christmas!
SPAIN...I'll be back soon...real soon!
Monday, August 17, 2009
TRES SEMANAS...
August 16th , 2009
Madrid
“Tres semanas para pensar. crear, trabajar, sonar, disfruta. Bienvenido a MADRID!”
So, in true American tourist fashion, I’ve discovered a Starbucks close to Leilah’s house where I’m staying here in Madrid. It’s a quiet Sunday afternoon, and in typical Spanish fashion, everything is closed for a day long siesta. Sunday is truly a day of rest here in Madrid, and it seems the whole town slows to an underwater-like pace. Stores, and most small businesses take the whole day off peacefully blanketing the city in silence.
I’ve decided to take this day of solitude to document the various events of my trip thus far. It’s been way beyond anything I could’ve expected! I’ve felt so blessed during these past few days, it’s like I’ve been spiritually guided in my preparation to come here, and during my stay.
Yesterday was one of my first real “solo” days in the city. I decided to check out El Museo del Reina Sofia. It’s one of the largest modern art museums in the world. It’s also the home of expanded collections of two of my favorite artists: Picasso and Salvador Dali. I often try to understand why we find ourselves drawn to certain artists and I believe it has much to do with the connection we share with common issues and themes in their work. I’ve always been very interested in the Surrealist movement and many of the artists of that era. Much like Lorca’s work, I enjoy the way their art possesses an equal level of passion and sensuality as well as a presence of danger and mortality. I think they resonate with me as an artist because I strongly believe these combination of elements are omnipresent forces in our lives. I think that my connection to Flamenco is also rooted in the same belief.
On Friday, I finally found the school where I’ll be taking Flamenco classes. Amor de Dios is a small school with an increasingly large reputation. It is the home and training ground for many illustrious past and present Flamenco artists. Carmen Amaya, Antonio Gades and the contemporary Joaquin Cortes, all studied at the school. I woke up that morning determined to find it and sign up for classes. As I approached the school, I met another Joaquin, one of the managers of the school who warmly invited me in and encouraged me to observe a few classes so I could get a clear idea of the sort of technique I wanted to develop. In the exchange we had, he emphasized the importance of studying with a teacher that could help me discover my own “style” or technique of the dance. He said, often students want to take classes with many different teachers, but this doesn’t give them a clear understanding of the sort of style they can develop personally. This is why it’s important to observe first, and then decide on a teacher. I thought that was very generous of him to share. So, I watched three different classes: a beginner’s class taught by Candela, an intermediate and choreography class taught by Miguel, and a “zapateador” or footwork class taught by Cristobal Reyes (the uncle of Joaquin Cortes!). At the end of the two and a half hours, I was not only convinced that this was the right place to study, but also knew exactly the style I wanted to develop. I told him I would be back on Monday to begin classes.
I came home that night…inspired! I found one of Leilah’s DVD’s- a recorded performance of hers at the famous Casa Patas, put on my shoes and skirt and began to re-create every move, every turn and every bit of “zapateador” action I could. I was up until three in the morning, just dancing! As I fell asleep that night, I could hear the click of zapatos de baile and the whoosh of swinging skirts in my head.
Every moment that I can, I’m sharing my project with others, telling them about why cultural dance and theatre are so connected. It’s funny because I always get the same reaction from people, either in Spanish or English: “Wow, I never thought of that connection, but it makes so much sense!” I feel like now is the time not only to share the idea, but to build upon it even more. I’m determined to find a few theatre companies here in the city. To see their work, and maybe get in touch with some directors with a dance background and exchange ideas. I see this project really growing. I think I’d even like to develop a company rooted in the same purpose: to connect cultural dance to theatre performance. Movement grounded in ancestry, to tell stories. I think its something that has the ability to inspire. It’s definitely inspired me.
Tonight I’ll be spending time with two friends I’ve made while here, Lua and Beba. They are treasures! I’ve found a freedom of expression as well as a sense of peace with them. Vital elements of what I see as a growing, potentially life-long friendship. I consider myself very lucky to have met them. And as for tonight’s adventures? Who knows! I’ll go wherever this warm Spanish breeze will take me!
Madrid
“Tres semanas para pensar. crear, trabajar, sonar, disfruta. Bienvenido a MADRID!”
So, in true American tourist fashion, I’ve discovered a Starbucks close to Leilah’s house where I’m staying here in Madrid. It’s a quiet Sunday afternoon, and in typical Spanish fashion, everything is closed for a day long siesta. Sunday is truly a day of rest here in Madrid, and it seems the whole town slows to an underwater-like pace. Stores, and most small businesses take the whole day off peacefully blanketing the city in silence.
I’ve decided to take this day of solitude to document the various events of my trip thus far. It’s been way beyond anything I could’ve expected! I’ve felt so blessed during these past few days, it’s like I’ve been spiritually guided in my preparation to come here, and during my stay.
Yesterday was one of my first real “solo” days in the city. I decided to check out El Museo del Reina Sofia. It’s one of the largest modern art museums in the world. It’s also the home of expanded collections of two of my favorite artists: Picasso and Salvador Dali. I often try to understand why we find ourselves drawn to certain artists and I believe it has much to do with the connection we share with common issues and themes in their work. I’ve always been very interested in the Surrealist movement and many of the artists of that era. Much like Lorca’s work, I enjoy the way their art possesses an equal level of passion and sensuality as well as a presence of danger and mortality. I think they resonate with me as an artist because I strongly believe these combination of elements are omnipresent forces in our lives. I think that my connection to Flamenco is also rooted in the same belief.
On Friday, I finally found the school where I’ll be taking Flamenco classes. Amor de Dios is a small school with an increasingly large reputation. It is the home and training ground for many illustrious past and present Flamenco artists. Carmen Amaya, Antonio Gades and the contemporary Joaquin Cortes, all studied at the school. I woke up that morning determined to find it and sign up for classes. As I approached the school, I met another Joaquin, one of the managers of the school who warmly invited me in and encouraged me to observe a few classes so I could get a clear idea of the sort of technique I wanted to develop. In the exchange we had, he emphasized the importance of studying with a teacher that could help me discover my own “style” or technique of the dance. He said, often students want to take classes with many different teachers, but this doesn’t give them a clear understanding of the sort of style they can develop personally. This is why it’s important to observe first, and then decide on a teacher. I thought that was very generous of him to share. So, I watched three different classes: a beginner’s class taught by Candela, an intermediate and choreography class taught by Miguel, and a “zapateador” or footwork class taught by Cristobal Reyes (the uncle of Joaquin Cortes!). At the end of the two and a half hours, I was not only convinced that this was the right place to study, but also knew exactly the style I wanted to develop. I told him I would be back on Monday to begin classes.
I came home that night…inspired! I found one of Leilah’s DVD’s- a recorded performance of hers at the famous Casa Patas, put on my shoes and skirt and began to re-create every move, every turn and every bit of “zapateador” action I could. I was up until three in the morning, just dancing! As I fell asleep that night, I could hear the click of zapatos de baile and the whoosh of swinging skirts in my head.
Every moment that I can, I’m sharing my project with others, telling them about why cultural dance and theatre are so connected. It’s funny because I always get the same reaction from people, either in Spanish or English: “Wow, I never thought of that connection, but it makes so much sense!” I feel like now is the time not only to share the idea, but to build upon it even more. I’m determined to find a few theatre companies here in the city. To see their work, and maybe get in touch with some directors with a dance background and exchange ideas. I see this project really growing. I think I’d even like to develop a company rooted in the same purpose: to connect cultural dance to theatre performance. Movement grounded in ancestry, to tell stories. I think its something that has the ability to inspire. It’s definitely inspired me.
Tonight I’ll be spending time with two friends I’ve made while here, Lua and Beba. They are treasures! I’ve found a freedom of expression as well as a sense of peace with them. Vital elements of what I see as a growing, potentially life-long friendship. I consider myself very lucky to have met them. And as for tonight’s adventures? Who knows! I’ll go wherever this warm Spanish breeze will take me!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Hey, hey...OLE'!
6 Days to Go!!!
So, on that triumphant day, August 10th, I'll be boarding a plane bound for Madrid! I'm too excited for words! Over the past couple weeks, all I've been doing is Googling maps, and packing lists to figure out just what I'll need during my time there.
So, here's the deal: I'm going to Madrid for 3 weeks to study Flamenco Dance! Yeah, pretty exciting...:) I came up with the idea over Spring semester while in school because I was feeling that as a Juilliard student in the Drama Division, we don't have as many opportunities as I'd like for Dance. Of course we have Ballroom Dancing and Movement training in general, but as an artist, I'm always looking for more ways to express myself. I find that dance is such an exciting form of physical expression. I've always been interested in Cultural Dance as well. My family is originally from Trinidad and Tobago, and Carnival tradition is a big thing for us as a people. There aren't any particular indigenous dance forms in Trinidad, but I know that Carnival time, is a time for us to "express ourselves"! As an artist, much of what I enjoy creating and observing has so much to do with culture, both my own and others around the world.
My decision to study Flamenco Dance is actually very closely connected to my love for Theatre and especially Solo-Performance. I decided earlier this summer that I wanted to create a program, or a some sort of Masterclass series that would be able to connect cultural dance forms with Theatre. I decided to call it: "The Ancestral Story: Connecting Cultural Dance to Solo-Theatre Performance". The template for the project is based on an exercise we do in our first year Acting class called The Ancestor Project. Basically, the project asks students to find an ancestor that they feel closely connected to and to create a piece about them that includes music and heightened text (poetry, religious texts, Shakespeare). The piece is usually no longer than 5 minutes or so, but it should be a complete story with a beginning, middle and end...a journey in the life of this ancestor, so to speak. The program that I'm currently developing, will take that same template and then build on it by adding cultural dance as a way to find character and shape a story. In researching this cultural dance, it will give students a strong vocabulary for movement and physical expression as well as provide a sense of context about the region where that ancestor was from. Students can choose their own culture, or a culture that they feel a strong connection to. I chose Spain because I've always felt a close connection to Spanish culture. And hey, Trinidad was first conquered by the Spanish...Port-Of-Spain? Yeah... it may be in the blood somewhere.
I figured this program would be a good way to keep me occupied this summer, as well as be a far-reaching goal over the course of my 4 years here that I can continue to develop. I'm planning to apply for a Fulbright in my 4th year that will allow me to continue developing the program after Graduation...big plans!
I would essentially like to be able to teach this program at theatre-training programs across the country in addition to my work as a performer. Its just a passion of mine to collaborate theatre and dance. I believe they both share a very obvious connection.
Anywhoo-- I leave in 6 days and I'm so unbelievable excited! I just bought my Flamenco shoes and a fabulous bright, blue Flamenco skirt! HOT!
More than anything, I really wanna have FUN during this trip! I wanna eat all the Tapas my tummy can handle, dance till the wee hours of the morning, and flirt my face off with cute Spanish guys...oh yeah!
That's about it for now. I'll be sure to document the experience when I get there as well!
Adios!
I figured this program would be a good way to keep me occupied this summer, as well as be a far-reaching goal over the course of my 4 years here that I can continue to develop. I'm planning to apply for a Fulbright in my 4th year that will allow me to continue developing the program after Graduation...big plans!
I would essentially like to be able to teach this program at theatre-training programs across the country in addition to my work as a performer. Its just a passion of mine to collaborate theatre and dance. I believe they both share a very obvious connection.
Anywhoo-- I leave in 6 days and I'm so unbelievable excited! I just bought my Flamenco shoes and a fabulous bright, blue Flamenco skirt! HOT!
More than anything, I really wanna have FUN during this trip! I wanna eat all the Tapas my tummy can handle, dance till the wee hours of the morning, and flirt my face off with cute Spanish guys...oh yeah!
That's about it for now. I'll be sure to document the experience when I get there as well!
Adios!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
The Big Birthday! July 8th, 2009
So, today July 8th was my Birthday!
Ummm, I gotta say... this was one of the best birthdays I've ever had! Its always hard having a summer birthday because my friends are always busy, so its hard to sometimes get them together for a celebration. But on Sunday, I had to commemorate the day of my birth and spend it with people I really cared about. I found out one of my favorite bands was performing live in Central Park this past sunday, so I assembled a group of my closest friends and had us all meet up for a picnic and concert in the park. I don't know why it was so special to me. Perhaps because we live in an age where people aren't the best at keeping commitments. Essentially, in this era we've become perpetual "promise-breakers". Sure this may sound harsh, but I've found with the advent of modern technology we've become a society used to "conveniently changing our minds", and notifying those close to us by a text message. Luckily, the friends that said they would come, came. That meant a lot to me.
We met up and just had the opportunity to catch up and find out what 's been going on in each others' lives. What's so interesting about this to me, is that during the school year I don't often have these opportunites to just sit down and chat with my closest friends. Juilliard keeps me really busy, and while that's a great thing creatively, I find that socially it leaves me feeling a bit alienated. I often feel like I'm in an environment where no one really knows me, intimately. At this point in my life, I'm beginning to find the value in surrounding myself with people who know the "real me". Who have seen me grow and change over the years, and essentially have been there for me through all of those changes...that's priceless.
Since that celebration on the 5th, I've recieved an outpouring of well-wishes from friends for today, my actual birthday. At work today, I was lucky enough to have my co-workers surprise me with cupcakes from my favorite bakery. How they knew it was my favorite, i'll never know! And then at the end of my workday, i met up with a very close froend to go to a guided meditation at an elite spa and mediation center here in NyC. Luckily, we both ran into another really good friend of our who does massage therapy for the Center, and she gave us passes for free yoga. Such a treat! The my friend and I went to the roofdeck of the hotel to which the spa is attacched and had an amazing time simply being grateful for the world that we're in at the time that we're in it! I feel so priviledged to be born at this time in history. To know tha as an african-american woman, I have the right to acheive pretty anything I put my mind to. That I can find support for whatever I need when I need it, that I am healthy and mobile, that I have people who are positive and progressive all around me to help me grow. These are just a few of the things I have to be grateful for.
I'm most grateful to be going to this amazing school at this time of my life! When I give tours, I often describe what I believe to be the difference between choosing Juilliard and choosing to go to a regular liberal arts school for their education. It comes down to inspiration. I feel that everyday, when times become overwhelmingly difficult with rehearsals, and classes and meetings, that at the end of the day your spirit is low, you can always be re-inspired when you hear a fellow student sing an aria, or play the guitar, perhaps even watch a dance rehearsal. When you see the talent of other students around you, it reminds you why you do what you do! It makes you want to press forward.
This is a birthday I'll never forget, because its at a time of my life that I'll never forget!
Ummm, I gotta say... this was one of the best birthdays I've ever had! Its always hard having a summer birthday because my friends are always busy, so its hard to sometimes get them together for a celebration. But on Sunday, I had to commemorate the day of my birth and spend it with people I really cared about. I found out one of my favorite bands was performing live in Central Park this past sunday, so I assembled a group of my closest friends and had us all meet up for a picnic and concert in the park. I don't know why it was so special to me. Perhaps because we live in an age where people aren't the best at keeping commitments. Essentially, in this era we've become perpetual "promise-breakers". Sure this may sound harsh, but I've found with the advent of modern technology we've become a society used to "conveniently changing our minds", and notifying those close to us by a text message. Luckily, the friends that said they would come, came. That meant a lot to me.
We met up and just had the opportunity to catch up and find out what 's been going on in each others' lives. What's so interesting about this to me, is that during the school year I don't often have these opportunites to just sit down and chat with my closest friends. Juilliard keeps me really busy, and while that's a great thing creatively, I find that socially it leaves me feeling a bit alienated. I often feel like I'm in an environment where no one really knows me, intimately. At this point in my life, I'm beginning to find the value in surrounding myself with people who know the "real me". Who have seen me grow and change over the years, and essentially have been there for me through all of those changes...that's priceless.
Since that celebration on the 5th, I've recieved an outpouring of well-wishes from friends for today, my actual birthday. At work today, I was lucky enough to have my co-workers surprise me with cupcakes from my favorite bakery. How they knew it was my favorite, i'll never know! And then at the end of my workday, i met up with a very close froend to go to a guided meditation at an elite spa and mediation center here in NyC. Luckily, we both ran into another really good friend of our who does massage therapy for the Center, and she gave us passes for free yoga. Such a treat! The my friend and I went to the roofdeck of the hotel to which the spa is attacched and had an amazing time simply being grateful for the world that we're in at the time that we're in it! I feel so priviledged to be born at this time in history. To know tha as an african-american woman, I have the right to acheive pretty anything I put my mind to. That I can find support for whatever I need when I need it, that I am healthy and mobile, that I have people who are positive and progressive all around me to help me grow. These are just a few of the things I have to be grateful for.
I'm most grateful to be going to this amazing school at this time of my life! When I give tours, I often describe what I believe to be the difference between choosing Juilliard and choosing to go to a regular liberal arts school for their education. It comes down to inspiration. I feel that everyday, when times become overwhelmingly difficult with rehearsals, and classes and meetings, that at the end of the day your spirit is low, you can always be re-inspired when you hear a fellow student sing an aria, or play the guitar, perhaps even watch a dance rehearsal. When you see the talent of other students around you, it reminds you why you do what you do! It makes you want to press forward.
This is a birthday I'll never forget, because its at a time of my life that I'll never forget!
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Back from Detroit!
Wow!...
What an experience we had sharing the Arts with Detroit Youth! I've been back now for a couple days and have only recently been able to piece together some of the amazing experiences shared with my fellow Juilliardians during this trip.
I was one of a group of four students part of Detroit Arts Immersion 2009. It's the beginning of an ongoing program that we hope to build upon every year to impact the youth of Detroit. Our target focus was a group of young men and women at Holy Cross Day Treatment Center. We taught 6-10 girls in the morning for 2 hours and then in the afternoon 6-10 boys, all ranging from 13-18. Our goal with both groups was to allow them to create their own final performance using elements of music, dance and drama which we as students all represented. Nate and myself are both actors, and then Allie who plays the flute was our musical contingent. Finally, Bree (the organizer of the program) is a dancer. With specialized group exercises, we found ways to open up the students as we found the most difficult thing to gain before collaboration was their trust. Fortunately, there were days of hope where some student would really be excited by what we were teaching. And if you were lucky, you would see them laugh or smile...free in that moment to be the child that many of them had never had the chance to be.
While we played movement and creative exploration games with the kids, I found one of their biggest challenges was focus and patience. I'm definitely a generation older than all of these kids, and what has become very clear to me is that children seem to be losing the ability to focus. Not to take too much of a turn here, but while working with these kids I found myself saddened by the thought that most of them are probably used to spending a lot of time watching t.v. or playing online...they are a part of this "instant gratification/constant stimuli" generation of youth that has lost touch with human contact and what it means to trust someone. Also, this demographic of youth had had some very difficult childhood experiences. Many of them were headed to or on their way from juvenile hall. Lots of them had mothers that had them at 14 or 15 with no resources , and a surprisingly high number of them were severely medicated. Many of these medicated kids could barely focus their eyes , much less stay awake during class. the medication was often for depression or anxiety, but in my mind, I was so concerned with their past and the thought they most of them had no one who cared for them. They were just tossed aside into this facility and offered no hope for their future,. And sadly the medication wasn't helping, it only made matters worse...deadening their spirits making them seem like walking child zombies. Heartbreaking.
To see these children and to know what they had experienced, especially the young girls it made me that much happier when they did choose to engage! It was amazing to see them fight past the anger, hurt, or even the medication to put their all in to an exercise or game. And often at the end of the day, one of the students would be surprised to hear that we were returning the very next day to continue working with them.
At the end of the week, the girls did their own sharing of work that we'd learned over the course of the week together. The boys were a bit more shy, but I'd still say that we made big strides with both groups. So much so, that by the end of the week, some of them wanted to give us their numbers and to be sure to stay in touch. It was really beautiful to see them all really come full circle in so many ways.
It's truly amazing to see how Art really can change lives. I believe what were able to give those students at Holy Cross was something they could believe in when others may have let them down. At Juilliard we speak so much about Artists as Citizens, as Leaders, as people who can affect change in the community around them. That week I knew, as well as the rest of my group, what it meant to change lives, even in the smallest of ways!
What an experience we had sharing the Arts with Detroit Youth! I've been back now for a couple days and have only recently been able to piece together some of the amazing experiences shared with my fellow Juilliardians during this trip.
I was one of a group of four students part of Detroit Arts Immersion 2009. It's the beginning of an ongoing program that we hope to build upon every year to impact the youth of Detroit. Our target focus was a group of young men and women at Holy Cross Day Treatment Center. We taught 6-10 girls in the morning for 2 hours and then in the afternoon 6-10 boys, all ranging from 13-18. Our goal with both groups was to allow them to create their own final performance using elements of music, dance and drama which we as students all represented. Nate and myself are both actors, and then Allie who plays the flute was our musical contingent. Finally, Bree (the organizer of the program) is a dancer. With specialized group exercises, we found ways to open up the students as we found the most difficult thing to gain before collaboration was their trust. Fortunately, there were days of hope where some student would really be excited by what we were teaching. And if you were lucky, you would see them laugh or smile...free in that moment to be the child that many of them had never had the chance to be.
While we played movement and creative exploration games with the kids, I found one of their biggest challenges was focus and patience. I'm definitely a generation older than all of these kids, and what has become very clear to me is that children seem to be losing the ability to focus. Not to take too much of a turn here, but while working with these kids I found myself saddened by the thought that most of them are probably used to spending a lot of time watching t.v. or playing online...they are a part of this "instant gratification/constant stimuli" generation of youth that has lost touch with human contact and what it means to trust someone. Also, this demographic of youth had had some very difficult childhood experiences. Many of them were headed to or on their way from juvenile hall. Lots of them had mothers that had them at 14 or 15 with no resources , and a surprisingly high number of them were severely medicated. Many of these medicated kids could barely focus their eyes , much less stay awake during class. the medication was often for depression or anxiety, but in my mind, I was so concerned with their past and the thought they most of them had no one who cared for them. They were just tossed aside into this facility and offered no hope for their future,. And sadly the medication wasn't helping, it only made matters worse...deadening their spirits making them seem like walking child zombies. Heartbreaking.
To see these children and to know what they had experienced, especially the young girls it made me that much happier when they did choose to engage! It was amazing to see them fight past the anger, hurt, or even the medication to put their all in to an exercise or game. And often at the end of the day, one of the students would be surprised to hear that we were returning the very next day to continue working with them.
At the end of the week, the girls did their own sharing of work that we'd learned over the course of the week together. The boys were a bit more shy, but I'd still say that we made big strides with both groups. So much so, that by the end of the week, some of them wanted to give us their numbers and to be sure to stay in touch. It was really beautiful to see them all really come full circle in so many ways.
It's truly amazing to see how Art really can change lives. I believe what were able to give those students at Holy Cross was something they could believe in when others may have let them down. At Juilliard we speak so much about Artists as Citizens, as Leaders, as people who can affect change in the community around them. That week I knew, as well as the rest of my group, what it meant to change lives, even in the smallest of ways!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Is it Really Summer Vacation?
So,
This is my first Blog post...ever! I'm pretty psyched, I gotta say... I feel like I've entered this whole new vortex of web communication...
So, I guess you're probably in need of some background info on me. I just completed my first year of classes at the Juilliard School in New York. I'm in the Drama Division. I decided to start my own blog because I wanted a platform to be able to share about my experience as a student and as a developing artist.
I'm also a smidge older than the average Drama Division student, so I'm having a fairly different experience. I'm 29 years old, and the average Drama Division student is around 18. I wanted to be able to share my experiences in order to help other mature artists who are considering venturing back into a professional training program.
The biggest question I've been asked is: "Why go back to school...now?" I graduated from a liberal arts school in New York City with a Theatre degree back in 2002. At that time, I was convinced I didn't want to go to graduate school. I was a strong believer that in order for an actor to learn the craft of acting, they had to go out and get work. And that worked for me for a while. After I graduated, I worked with a commercial agent and started going out on auditions. I didn't book anything, but figured it was just a matter of time. But after a couple years I felt like nothing was happening. I decided to leave New York, and moved back to the DC area. I took classes at the Shakespeare Theatre and then looked into an Acting Apprentice program at Actors Theatre of Louisville. The concept was very much in line with my belief: "in order to learn the craft, one must just practice." When I finished the program, we produced an actors showcase through which I began a relationship with my first legit agent. I was thrilled! I thought this was all I needed for the "big jobs" to start rolling in.
I worked with this particular agency for about two years. The very same thing happened: I was sent out on calls, theatre calls, commercial calls, and I would get called back and got very close to booking a few national commercials, but could never seal the deal! I began to wonder what it was. Was it me? My talent? (or perhaps lack thereof), my size? (I was a size 14 and thought that every time I didn't get a job it was because of my weight!). I soon realized that I was also at a point in my life creatively that I felt I really didn't have much to offer. I felt that if I was called into a room to "create" and to have a sense of control in a "creative process" that I wouldn't be able to hold my own. That I had to rely on a director in order for any project to "work". This ultimately left me feeling powerless as an artist, and very much thrown to the will of the industry.
I was just about to give up all hope when I had a conversation with a friend of mine from work. He is an actor that worked a lot in his twenties. Tons of commercial and voiceover work. We were having a conversation about the the fact that it seemed like only all the grad school kids came out and were able to book all the big gigs. That it seemed like the average actor without a grad school education could potentially take years before he/she could make the same kind of mark someone did who went to school. As actors we were shocked that even in the artistic world, education was becoming more valued than experience. By the end of the conversation, we were both feeling a little despondent, however it suddenly hit me: "Carolyn, it's never too late to change your experience, to potentially turn your life around!" That very same day I decided to apply to grad programs for Acting. Until that moment, I'd considered going back to school for all sorts of other things: massage therapy, global studies. But acting? That just felt redundant. But I was determined. I told myself that I would never know unless I tried. I applied to my 3 top dream schools: University of California at San Diego, Yale School of Drama, and Juilliard. Funny enough, Juilliard was my last choice. I just felt like an acting program that would take 4 years to complete would just be too long. I instead aimed for Yale. Sadly, I wasn't accepted! I was a bit down, but then heard word from both UCSD and Juilliard. I had to make a decision between both schools, and for a while I was honestly not sure which school to choose! For years I'd wanted to move to California, and the opportunity to go to school out there just seemed like the perfect impetus for a move. But when I went out to visit, I was surprised that the school itself didn't speak to me. I came back and was a bit confused about what to do. Then a friend of mine who was urging me to go to Juilliard, got me free tickets to a show being performed by a couple 4th year students in the program. I went to see the show, and it was some of the strongest work I'd seen in years! It was a production of Topdog/Underdog that nearly rivalled the Broadway production I'd seen years prior. Not only was the work amazing, but they were warmest, most welcoming group of actors I think I'd ever met. The environment just felt like a place I could grow creatively, more than anything it felt like it was a safe space to do so.
One reason I'd never applied to grad school before was because I was deathly afraid of the cost. I figured there was no way I'd be able to afford it. But Juilliard made my dream a reality by offering me a full ride! I mean if that's not a dream come true, what is? Obviously, my decision was made!
This is my first Blog post...ever! I'm pretty psyched, I gotta say... I feel like I've entered this whole new vortex of web communication...
So, I guess you're probably in need of some background info on me. I just completed my first year of classes at the Juilliard School in New York. I'm in the Drama Division. I decided to start my own blog because I wanted a platform to be able to share about my experience as a student and as a developing artist.
I'm also a smidge older than the average Drama Division student, so I'm having a fairly different experience. I'm 29 years old, and the average Drama Division student is around 18. I wanted to be able to share my experiences in order to help other mature artists who are considering venturing back into a professional training program.
The biggest question I've been asked is: "Why go back to school...now?" I graduated from a liberal arts school in New York City with a Theatre degree back in 2002. At that time, I was convinced I didn't want to go to graduate school. I was a strong believer that in order for an actor to learn the craft of acting, they had to go out and get work. And that worked for me for a while. After I graduated, I worked with a commercial agent and started going out on auditions. I didn't book anything, but figured it was just a matter of time. But after a couple years I felt like nothing was happening. I decided to leave New York, and moved back to the DC area. I took classes at the Shakespeare Theatre and then looked into an Acting Apprentice program at Actors Theatre of Louisville. The concept was very much in line with my belief: "in order to learn the craft, one must just practice." When I finished the program, we produced an actors showcase through which I began a relationship with my first legit agent. I was thrilled! I thought this was all I needed for the "big jobs" to start rolling in.
I worked with this particular agency for about two years. The very same thing happened: I was sent out on calls, theatre calls, commercial calls, and I would get called back and got very close to booking a few national commercials, but could never seal the deal! I began to wonder what it was. Was it me? My talent? (or perhaps lack thereof), my size? (I was a size 14 and thought that every time I didn't get a job it was because of my weight!). I soon realized that I was also at a point in my life creatively that I felt I really didn't have much to offer. I felt that if I was called into a room to "create" and to have a sense of control in a "creative process" that I wouldn't be able to hold my own. That I had to rely on a director in order for any project to "work". This ultimately left me feeling powerless as an artist, and very much thrown to the will of the industry.
I was just about to give up all hope when I had a conversation with a friend of mine from work. He is an actor that worked a lot in his twenties. Tons of commercial and voiceover work. We were having a conversation about the the fact that it seemed like only all the grad school kids came out and were able to book all the big gigs. That it seemed like the average actor without a grad school education could potentially take years before he/she could make the same kind of mark someone did who went to school. As actors we were shocked that even in the artistic world, education was becoming more valued than experience. By the end of the conversation, we were both feeling a little despondent, however it suddenly hit me: "Carolyn, it's never too late to change your experience, to potentially turn your life around!" That very same day I decided to apply to grad programs for Acting. Until that moment, I'd considered going back to school for all sorts of other things: massage therapy, global studies. But acting? That just felt redundant. But I was determined. I told myself that I would never know unless I tried. I applied to my 3 top dream schools: University of California at San Diego, Yale School of Drama, and Juilliard. Funny enough, Juilliard was my last choice. I just felt like an acting program that would take 4 years to complete would just be too long. I instead aimed for Yale. Sadly, I wasn't accepted! I was a bit down, but then heard word from both UCSD and Juilliard. I had to make a decision between both schools, and for a while I was honestly not sure which school to choose! For years I'd wanted to move to California, and the opportunity to go to school out there just seemed like the perfect impetus for a move. But when I went out to visit, I was surprised that the school itself didn't speak to me. I came back and was a bit confused about what to do. Then a friend of mine who was urging me to go to Juilliard, got me free tickets to a show being performed by a couple 4th year students in the program. I went to see the show, and it was some of the strongest work I'd seen in years! It was a production of Topdog/Underdog that nearly rivalled the Broadway production I'd seen years prior. Not only was the work amazing, but they were warmest, most welcoming group of actors I think I'd ever met. The environment just felt like a place I could grow creatively, more than anything it felt like it was a safe space to do so.
One reason I'd never applied to grad school before was because I was deathly afraid of the cost. I figured there was no way I'd be able to afford it. But Juilliard made my dream a reality by offering me a full ride! I mean if that's not a dream come true, what is? Obviously, my decision was made!
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